


Suck It Up and Do It

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Arguments, Daisuga if you really look, Fluffy Angst, I CRIED AT THIS, Language, M/M, Pick Up Lines, Rejection, Swearing, iwaoi - Freeform, kuroo and kenma are adorable, lots of fluff, oikawa is so freaking smooth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 06:48:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5698963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bokuto has 9 days to tell Akaashi how he feels. He discovers Kuroo's dark secret orange book, and Oikawa wears designer trousers to a house party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Suck It Up and Do It

**Author's Note:**

> There is a lot of angst in this, so you've been warned. Also I was on the verge of tears whilst writing a scene, so you've been warned.

Bokuto had 9 days. 9 days before Akaashi would leave his life and maybe never come back. About 2 months ago, the setter had announced that he would be moving away to Europe due to his parents getting a deal over there for him to go to one of the universities in England. Now, Bokuto’s days are getting shorter, and he only has a few days to tell Akaashi how he feels, before it’s too late.

Bokuto was finishing his 53rd lap of the bedroom. Kuroo watched him lazily from the bed, rolling his eyes every time the owl muttered something about his setter. Akaashi Keiji had been on Bokuto’s mind since he first joined the volleyball club, he caught his attention instantly.

Bokuto remembered being handed the application forms and thinking that his name was really pretty, since that moment he was curious to find out if his face was as pretty as his name, which, to his advantage, was.

“Bo, sit down, you’re driving me insane” Kuroo grumbled, followed by a yawn.

Bokuto stopped, his arms hanging limp next to his body, “I need help”

“Yeah you do” Kuroo sat up and patted the duvet, “sit, we need to talk about this”

The older captain sat down and put his head in his hands, sighing deeply. He had a serious crush on Akaashi, and for a while he thought that he might like him back, but then was getting all sorts of mixed signals.

“Alright, let’s start by going over what we already know” Kuroo said.

“There’s not much to it. I’m seriously into Akaashi” Bokuto said simply.

“Does he like you?”

“Maybe. For a while I thought he did, I was getting some pretty weird signals from him”

Kuroo hummed and tapped his foot on the floor, “But he was giving you signals which made you think he liked you?”

“Yeah”

The cat grinned at his friend, “Dude he so likes you back”

Bokuto looked up and raised an eyebrow, “There is no way you could know that”

There _is_ a way that he could know that, a very valid reason. Akaashi told him himself. Sure, it was a long time ago so he has no idea if he still has those feelings, but he’s not the kind of guy to just drop feelings like that. “I have a feeling about it” Kuroo nodded.

Bokuto shook his head, “You’re talking out your arse again, Kuroo”

The other ignored him and carried on talking, “You know what I think?”

“What?”

“Ask him out” Kuroo suggested, nudging his friend, “I bet he’ll say yes”

“I bet he’ll say no. Then he’ll leave and I’ll be broken hearted and fail school and let the team down... and I can’t go through with that, it’ll be so embarrassing!”

“You just said a load of words and I wasn’t listening to a single one of them” Kuroo deadpanned. Bokuto huffed, and Kuroo clambered further onto the bed and leaned closer to him, “Alright, just imagine how great it’d be if he said yes!”

“Dude even if I wanted to ask him, with a guaranteed yes as an answer, there is no way I’d be able to strike it up in conversation”

“You don’t need to; we can get him to ask you” Kuroo said.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t realise you majored in mind-control” Bokuto smirked.

Kuroo put his hands on his hips, “Do you want my help or not?” Bokuto rolled his eyes, “Alright. Just be super charming, casually bring up the fact that you’re going out at some point or something then slip it in that you don’t have anybody to go with, then he’d suggest going together”

Bokuto grinned, “Don’t put too much thought into this, I don’t want you hurting your head”

The younger hit him round the back of the head and clicked his tongue, “That kind of attitude won’t get you a date”

\--------------------------------------------------------

Two days later, 7 to go, and Bokuto was still without a date. He’d seen Akaashi both days since talking to Kuroo but hadn’t had the guts to actually ask him.

Bokuto flopped onto Kuroo’s bed, eyes screwed shut as he poured out all his problems. Kuroo was listening, or so he thought. When he opened them again Kuroo was sat at the desk flicking through a magazine. Bokuto frowned, then threw a pillow at him, “Oi, stop looking at porn magazines and pay more attention to me. You have a boyfriend, remember”

 “Kenma doesn’t care, dude. And I am paying attention; you were saying something about rain..?” Kuroo replied, turning another page of the magazine.

“You’re a jerk” Bokuto replied, getting up and stalking over to the other captain. He grabbed the magazine and threw it to the side, a smug look creeping on his face when Kuroo pouted.

“Alright. You have my _undivided_ attention. Shoot” Kuroo put his index fingers on his thumbs to form little circles, and gave a wide grin to his friend.

Bokuto wasn’t sure whether he liked having Kuroo’s undivided attention. It was always intense, and kinda scary, considering it was Kuroo. He gave his ‘special’ undivided attention to Kenma, of course, which made Bokuto feel a little uneasy that he called it the same thing. “Alright” he said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Trouble in paradise?” Kuroo smirked.

Bokuto pointed his fingers together, “Not really... I- I kinda haven’t asked him”

“You’re such a chicken!”

“It’s not my fault! You try it!” Bokuto snapped back, feeling a little offended. It wasn’t easy asking somebody out, especially if you were crazy about that somebody and had a limited amount of time to get anything done!

Kuroo held his hand up, “I’ve already got the person I need, Bo”

 _Oh yeah. Kenma._ Bokuto shook his head, “Either way, I couldn’t do it. I looked at his face and imagined getting rejected by that face, I wasn’t up for that”

“Ask him to a movie, it’s casual”

“Too cliché”

“Dude I’m not done” Kuroo pushed him playfully, “Anyway... If he says yes then it’s kinda obvious that he likes you back, if he says no then you’ll know that it probably won’t be a good idea to ask him on a date”

“Stop playing matchmaker” Bokuto cut in.

“Would you _please_ let me finish” The captain whined, “So what if it’s cliché? The guy might like that. I’m going to let you in on a very deep secret of mine, alright?”

Bokuto leaned in closer, “Alright...” he said, a little intrigued.

Kuroo climbed off the bed and made his way over to his desk, there, he opened one of the drawers and pulled out a small orange notebook covered with various scribbles and doodles. “This, is your saviour” he said, “What I am about to tell you must stay between us”

Bokuto nodded his head.

“Okay” Kuroo continued, “This baby got me my first date with Kenma, alright, so it’s very powerful. I’ve noted every pick-up line I’ve heard inside it, ones that I’ve come up with, and those I found online”

Bokuto raised an eyebrow, “Akaashi would never fall for a pick-up line, and I’m actually surprised Kenma did”

“Okay so maybe Kenma didn’t, he actually agreed to go out with me on the grounds that I stopped saying them to him” Kuroo explained, “There’s no saying Akaashi won’t like them, there-”

“Give me the book”

“Wait a minute, dickhead, I’m still talking” Kuroo glared at him, but sighed and handed it over to Bokuto, who started flicking through the pages. “Right, this means a lot to me. It’s gotten me dates, boyfriends, a couple girlfriends, and the love of my life”

Bokuto tried to bite back a smile, trying to take his friends stupid words into account seriously, “Alright”

“Use it wisely, do not talk it for granted. There are some strong words in there, very romantic, and very powerful. It means-”

“Do you work at Subway, because you just gave me a foot-long?” Bokuto interrupted, a smirk on his face as his eyes flicked up from the page to his friend, who looked positively horrified, “very strong words, dude... So... _powerful”_ Bokuto gripped his shirt, emphasising the sarcasm in his voice.

Kuroo immediately snatched the book back, swearing at his friend and flicking him on the forehead, “Okay so maybe you’re not ready for the book yet... dumbass” he held it close to his chest protectively.

“Give me the book, Kuroo” Bokuto held out his hand.

The other shook his head, “Nope. You don’t deserve it”

“Give me the damn book” The captain launched off the bed at Kuroo, tackling him.

Bokuto and Kuroo’s fights weren’t serious, although they always looked pretty serious. They never meant anything, and were always over stupid things, like a book full of pick-up lines. After a couple minutes of scuffling, Kuroo holding his arm out as high as he could so Bokuto couldn’t reach it, and his hand on his head keeping him down, Kenma opened the bedroom door.

“Kuro... Uhh” he said, standing in the doorway looking down at them.

Kuroo pushed Bokuto off of him when he was distracted and he fell into a heap on the floor, “What’s up, babe?”

Kenma pulled his hands inside his sleeves and shrugged, “Just arrived, your Dad sent me up. I bought snacks, I didn’t realise Bokuto would be here too”

“He was just leaving” Kuroo replied, brushing himself off.

“Wha- Hey we were talking!” Bokuto complained from the floor. He closed his mouth when Kuroo turned and shot him a look, “But I should probably be heading out, you know, I’ve got... uh, duties, and stuff”

Kuroo rolled his eyes as Bokuto walked past him, “Oi” he said, throwing him the book, “Make sure you do some studying tonight” he gave him a quick wink before closing the door.

Bokuto sighed, and then walked down the stairs back home; he had some reading to do.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Bokuto scuffed his shoes along the pavement as he walked. He was already reading the book, studying every word carefully and deciding if he should attempt to use it or not. He occasionally looked up, making sure he wasn’t in danger of bumping into anything on the way home.

It was nice weather, and the walk from Kuroo’s to his was a little long, but it was nice. A couple of the lines written in the book made him cringe, so he made sure to mentally note those ones as ones not to use. Kuroo might not have been his first choice, but after that chat he did feel somewhat confident. He usually goes to Akaashi when he has a problem, of course this one, however, was an exception.

When he got home, he sat down and used a pencil to cross through some of them, knowing Kuroo wouldn’t have approved if he used a pen. Having gotten a decent list of the ones he wanted to use, Bokuto closed the book.

He figured he may as well get some practice in, considering if he was actually going to do this he didn’t want to embarrass himself. He walked over to the mirror with a line in his head; he stared at his reflection and opened his mouth, “On a scale of 1-10, you’re a 9 and I’m the 1 that you need” he read out. He noticed his face redden in the mirror and he shook his head, “Man, where did Kuroo get these?”

\--------------------------------------------------------

Kuroo made Bokuto promise that he next time he saw Akaashi he would ask him out, that was 2 days ago, and once again he was no closer to getting a date. He had 5 days left, the gap was getting smaller. He wanted to, he really did. He made a mental list of ones that weren’t too bad, but when he actually saw Akaashi he forgot them all.

The way his smile always brightened up the room, considering how rare it was. His eyes were sparkling when Bokuto walked into the room, and he ran straight over, a light sheen on his forehead from practicing. He wanted to say something, but when he opened his mouth all that came out was stutters and mumbles, to which Akaashi raised an eyebrow and went to set the ball to a couple other players. Bokuto was so embarrassed, and wished that he was as confident as Kuroo in asking people out, unfortunately though, he wasn’t born with that gift.

When he met up with Kuroo after school he just lectured him and punched him in the arm. “You are driving me crazy...” he said, “I’ve had enough”

Bokuto looked up at him, “What’re you talking about?”

“I’m throwing a party, Akaashi’s going away party!” Kuroo declared, “I’ll invite everyone, get you nice and drunk and who knows, maybe you’ll accidently tell Akaashi how you feel before he goes”

“That is literally the shittiest idea you’ve never had, Kuroo!”

Kuroo pouted, “I don’t care. I’m doing it, I’ll text everyone the details”

Kuroo lived up to it as well, that weekend; he had about 30 people round at his house. He invited all sorts of people, everybody from both the teams, of course, and the third years from Karasuno and Aoba Johsai. This was the perfect time. Akaashi was leaving the day after tomorrow, it was now or never. Kuroo was busy setting drinks out when Akaashi came into the living room.

“Akaashi, you made it!” Kuroo said, smiling as the setter walked up to him.

“Yeah” he replied, “I mean it is my going away party so”

“Alright, well, I’m sure Bokuto’s around here somewhere. Drink?”

Kuroo handed Akaashi a beer then went to find Bokuto, who was sitting on Kuroo’s bed with his head in his hands. “Dude what are you doing?”

“I can’t go out there. I have no control over my mouth when I’m drunk”

“Would you chill out? You don’t have to get _drunk_ drunk, just enough where you feel better, ya know?”

Bokuto looked up; Kuroo had his arm outstretched and a beer in his hand. Bokuto took it, and then followed him through to the kitchen. When Bokuto saw Akaashi, his heart skipped a beat. He was standing there, casually leaning against the door frame with a drink in his hand, talking to Konoha. When he looked over in his direction, Bokuto felt his throat tighten as he smiled at him, “Hi!” he called over, waving his hand slightly.

Kuroo pushed him over, “Just talk to the guy” he said, before walking away to chat to Oikawa and Iwaizumi.

“You alright? You haven’t started your drink yet, gotta say I’m a little worried” Akaashi said, lips curling at the end.

Bokuto smiled sheepishly, “I’m fine, but thanks”

The rest of the night was bad. Bokuto only had one drink, he didn’t trust himself enough to have another. Akaashi was never the type to drink too much, so he was only on his second, still sober enough to register his surroundings, unlike Kuroo. Bokuto watched him chatting to Suga and Yaku, a smile almost painted onto his face as he laughed at whatever somebody had said. His chest was tight, and his ears were swimming with the voices of other people. The captain looked over his setter, following the curves of his body from head to toe.

He traced his lips with his mouth and when he brought his gaze up to his eyes Akaashi was staring at him, wide eyed.

“Alright!” Kuroo clapped his hands together, bringing Bokuto back to reality. He looked back at Akaashi, who wasn’t actually looking at him, thankfully. “We’re going to play spin the bottle. Considering most of us are drunk, it should be interesting” Kuroo said, holding an empty bottle in his hand, he threw it onto the ground and fell down to the floor with a thud, “Sit down then!” he said.

Only a few people joined in, the others were scattered across the house not wanting to participate. There were about 10 in total, including Bokuto, Akaashi, Kuroo, Kenma, who was actually just observing, Daichi and Suga, Oikawa and Iwaizumi and Komi, Konoha and Hanamaki.

Bokuto was sat opposite Akaashi, and was well aware that he was staring at him again, though more subtly.

“Akaashi should go first, as he’s the one leaving on Sunday” Komi said, rolling the bottle in Akaashi’s direction. Akaashi smiled, and span the bottle.

Oh god. It had just sunken in. The past couple months went so quickly that Bokuto hadn’t had the time to actually register the fact that Akaashi was leaving. He was actually going to be leaving, not on the volleyball team anymore, not there to help him with his studies.

All this time Bokuto thought that it was just a dream, and when the time came Akaashi would just turn around and say that he wasn’t leaving anymore, that he was staying. That was what Bokuto wished.

His heart rate was increasing, and his eyes were wide as he watched the bottle spin around the circle of people, daring to land on any one of them. He screwed his eyes shut, praying that it didn’t land on him. The music was blaring through the house, through his head, painfully getting louder and louder and nobody appeared to be turning it down.

He opened his eyes to a lot of cheering, and when he looked at the bottle realised that it had landed on Suga, who just blushed but leaned in and placed a really small kiss on Akaashi’s lips, in fact almost not touching.

Suga was next, who landed on Iwaizumi, and Iwaizumi landed on Oikawa. Oikawa practically beamed with excitement, “Not a problem. Pucker up, sweetie” he smiled, leaning towards Iwaizumi who looked a little irritated, but it wasn’t obvious as Oikawa’s head was in the damn way, kissing him for way longer than a kiss in spin the bottle is supposed to last! When Oikawa leaned back he readjusted his hair and blew a kiss in Iwaizumi’s direction, who looked a little flustered and actually a little love struck. Bokuto smiled to himself, wishing that he could just do that to Akaashi without hesitation.

A couple more rounds went by, Kuroo’s spin stopped on Bokuto. Bokuto had no problem kissing Kuroo; he’d done it before and never thought that it wouldn’t happen again. It was easy, simple, and it was fine as he knew that it wasn’t meant in a romantic way.

“Bo! You’re turn!” Kuroo grinned, smirking at Bokuto as he knew exactly what he was thinking. “Wait a sec... Where’s Oikawa and Iwaizumi?!” Kuroo already knew where they were, and just hoped that they weren’t doing it in his bed.

Bokuto’s hands were clammy as he gripped the bottle, trying to figure out if it span slow enough it wouldn’t get round to Akaashi, or fast enough that it just skipped him. Breathing in, Bokuto span the bottle.

It was a good pace, going round the circle a couple times; making his heart beat dangerously fast when it got close to Akaashi. It was starting to slow, and people were leaning forward intently.

The bottle stopped.

 _Oh shit... Oh SHIT!_ Bokuto was screaming inside, thoughts rushing through his head to get the hell out of there, quickly, before anybody notices. It was too late for that though, everybody was staring at him and all he could do was let out a small sigh before bringing his eyes up to the person it had landed on. Akaashi Keiji.

Akaashi wasn’t looking back at him; instead his eyes were on the bottle, scanning it like he didn’t believe it was still. Finally, he looked up, a smile tugging at his lips, “Well?” he said casually. Bokuto hated that, the way Akaashi could be so casual about things like this, things that made his heart skip beats.

Bokuto nodded, and then slightly parted his lips as he started to slowly crawl across the circle. Akaashi was doing the same; then he stopped in the middle and waited to be joined.

“OOooooo” Bokuto looked to his left, Kuroo was sat on his knees, leaning forward at them, then he pushed Daichi to the side with a wide grin, “They’re gonna _kiss”_ Daichi just smiled at him and nodded his head, a drunken haze above his own.

Bokuto closed his eyes, half hoping Akaashi would take over and get it over and done with, half hoping that something would interrupt them, so he didn’t have to have the humiliation of kissing Akaashi, whilst both of them were still pretty sober.

Akaashi leaned in, about 2 centimetres away from Bokuto when there was a loud, high pitched scream. Everybody turned to the door, where Oikawa was standing, wearing no shirt and his trousers covered with vomit. Stood behind him, holding onto the banister for support was Iwaizumi, also shirtless. He had to run outside after a couple of seconds though.

Kuroo was laughing, and everybody was standing up and rushing about. Bokuto could see Akaashi still sitting down in front of him through the sea of legs that belonged to the people choosing to walk through them instead of around. He wondered why he had stayed.

When the people had cleared and were all outside cheering for Iwaizumi, Bokuto looked at Akaashi, “We didn’t get to kiss” he said.

“Nope. Oh well, I don’t think I’m drunk enough for this to be honest. I’ll go see if Iwaizumi is okay” Akaashi replied blankly. Then got up and walked outside.

Bokuto was glad, glad that he didn’t have to kiss Akaashi, but also annoyed that he didn’t. It would have been a perfect way to say goodbye, or to tell him how he felt, but it got fucked up because Iwaizumi got too bloody drunk, and Oikawa was wearing designer trousers to a party full of teenagers!

He sat there, hands shaking. Did Akaashi even want to kiss him? He didn’t seem that into it, and just brushed it off when Bokuto mentioned it. Bokuto shook his head, and then stood up, he had to leave. He had to get out of there and... “You leaving?” Kuroo asked, grabbing a shot glass and downing the liquid with a grim look on his face, “We’re only just getting started”

“I’m done, Kuroo. I fucked it up, you saw what happened. I need to leave and-”

“Don’t go, Bo!”Kuroo said, wrapping his arm around Bokuto’s shoulders, “Now is the perfect time to tell him. Ya know what?”

“What?” Bokuto deadpanned. Kuroo’s ideas weren’t always the best when he was drunk, but they were ideas nonetheless.

“Tell him now. Play it off as being too” he paused to burp, “pissed!”

“But I’m not pissed. God Kuroo that fucking stinks!” Bokuto wafted his hand in the air.

“Shut up!” Kuroo snapped, “Anyway... Tell him now. You never have to see him again if he says no, and you have me to help you get over him. Bang a couple people, then you’re set!”

Bokuto wasn’t sure if it was actually a good idea, or if the alcohol in his system was starting to have an effect, but that was actually a good point. He _didn’t_ have to ever see him again. It would make things a whole lot easier to get over him. He wasn’t sure about the whole banging a couple people idea, but overall, not a bad strategy.

“Go!” Kuroo shouted, pushing Bokuto towards the door, “Fly!”

Bokuto shook his head, “Don’t drink too much, I’m not cleaning up your sick, alright?” he said, leaving the house and going outside. “Akaashi!” He called, walking over the grass.

The setter turned around, “What’s up?”

“Can we talk? Inside, in private?” he asked.

Akaashi’s facial expression changed and he looked a little concerned, “Of course” he said, following behind the captain back into the house.

They sat in Kuroo’s room, both on the bed and Bokuto awkwardly twiddled his thumbs.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Akaashi asked.

“So... You’re leaving Sunday, huh”

“Uh, yeah, I am”

“I uh, I read a magazine article. It was actually quite interesting! It was about... uhm... Well, it was called, ‘have you ever been in love with your best friend’” Bokuto replied. Akaashi’s eyes widened and Bokuto blushed, “heh”

“Really?” Akaashi asked, trying to sound interested, “I’ve um, never read it, was it any good?”

This was going well, at least that’s what Bokuto thought as he thought Akaashi had no idea what he was getting at, which he did. “It was OK. Not really my thing, you know... What about you? Going to check it out?”

Akaashi scratched his chin, “Might do”

“I think you should, its re-” Bokuto was cut off by Akaashi’s interruption.

“Bokuto cut the crap and tell me the truth” he said. Bokuto looked horrified.

His mouth was trembling and was moving around as he searched his brain for answers, “I... I- uhm” was all he got out.

“You didn’t bring me in here to talk about magazine articles. I had a couple drinks but I’m not that drunk... So, just tell me”

Bokuto had never been so nervous in his life. Not even exams came this close to making him feel this ill. He refused to look at Akaashi. Refused to let himself stumble over his words as this was really important. Too important to screw up. It had to be right.

“Alright” he said, keeping his breathing under control, “Alright... Akaashi I”

Akaashi knew what he was about to say, and he wished that he wasn’t going to. Despite loving Bokuto ages ago, he didn’t have those feelings anymore. Akaashi moved on, accepted the fact that things weren’t going to work out between them. He pushed all those feelings to the back of his head and locked them away in a box, and swore to himself that it was better for the both of them if he never unlocked it.

“I uh. I’m in love with you, Akaashi” he finally said, eyes scanning Akaashi’s face for any sign of a reaction.

Akaashi stared at Kuroo’s duvet, following the pattern with his eyes as he tried to think of a reply, but a small breath was all that came out.

“Please... Akaashi please say something” Bokuto said, edging forward closer to the setter.

“Um” he started, “I’m sorry”

Bokuto felt his heart strings start to pull at those two words. What was Akaashi saying?

“I’m sorry, Bokuto. But- but I don’t return those feelings”

Shattered. His heart broken into a million pieces like somebody sent a spear through his chest. Bokuto gripped his shirt, suddenly clinging too tightly to his skin. His breathing was unsteady, and spots were beginning to form in his line of vision from scrunching them shut too tightly. Was this it? Was this what it felt like to be rejected?

“Tell me you’re joking” he said weakly. Though he knew the answer, he hoped that it was a joke. A cruel, heartbreaking joke which ripped him apart inside out. That was the thing Kuroo hadn’t taken into consideration. The _pain_ he would go through when rejected, the _agony_ of being told he wasn’t loved by the person he was head over heels for.

“If you had just told me 5 months earlier; I would have told you the same thing” Akaashi shook his head, “But not now, Bokuto I’m sorry”

“You loved me?” Bokuto looked up. Akaashi could see a little spark of hope in his golden eyes. He was sure that was going to disappear pretty soon.

“Used to, yes. I was so scared of the way I felt, scared that something was wrong with me”

“There’s nothing to be scared of! Because, because I feel the same!”

“No you don’t. You’re in love, I... I locked my feelings away. Threw the key somewhere, and- I have no idea where that key is, and I’m not going to be opening that box anymore”

“PLEASE!” Bokuto cried, hand still clutching his shirt as the other rubbed at his eyes, “don’t say things like that” Man, getting a lot more drunk would’ve probably made this stage a whole lot easier. “I’ll force the box open. I want to be with you”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you do that. I’m leaving, Bokuto” Akaashi reached out and put his hands around Bokuto’s face, “Bokuto... You were so hard to get over, and if I was to open the box and then leave, I would have to go through that all over again”

“Then stay” Bokuto cried, tears rolling down his cheeks onto Akaashi’s palms, “stay with me”

Akaashi smiled gently; thumb swiping a tear away, “I can’t do that. My parents wouldn’t let me, for starters.” Akaashi was caught by surprise when he felt a tear roll down his own face.

They sat there for a moment, both crying. Then Akaashi sat back, hands now on his lap, “Please say something”

“This hurts. This hurts so much, it sucks... Kuroo sucks... You suck” Bokuto looked up, red faced and blotchy. He was staring Akaashi in the eye, not blinking.

Akaashi gasped, hating the sight. Bokuto looked so small, and he was staring at him with such agony. He had just broken his best friend’s heart, and now _his_ chest was starting to feel tight. The guilt of hurting somebody so close to him bearing down on him. Although they were alone, he felt humiliated. He had to get out of there.

“I have to go” he choked out. Bokuto didn’t look up, “Bokuto... I’ll...” he didn’t finish his sentence. Bokuto was meant to be seeing him off on Sunday, but he figured that wouldn’t be happening anymore. So technically, this would be the last time he’d see him. He leaned in, kind of hoping for a hug, but Bokuto pushed him away angrily. Glaring at him like he was dirt on the bottom of his shoe. Akaashi sniffed, before opening the bedroom door and leaving the room.

He looked a right mess. He was still crying and people were starting to walk over to him, asking whether or not he was okay, to which he nodded absentmindedly and carried on walking. Kuroo noticed him walk past and caught up with him.

“You leaving?” he asked, seeming a little more with it, “Did you talk to Bokuto?”

Akaashi nodded again, “Yeah. I have to go, will I see you Sunday?”

“Yeah, probably, if not I’ll call you” Kuroo responded, “What happened, are you okay?”

“I’m fine” he replied, eyes glassy, “Bokuto’s not... Just tell him I’m sorry and, I don’t know if I’ll see him, but tell him I’ll miss him, okay? Please?”

“Yeah, yeah sure... See you later”

Akaashi waved to a couple of people, and as soon as he left people started to follow suit, packing up and saying their goodbyes to Akaashi if they weren’t seeing him at the airport.

Kuroo stood in the bathroom for a minute, after rinsing his face with water to snap out of his drunken haze. Then walked into his room. Bokuto was there, lying down on the bed, legs curled up to his chest and his eyes closed. Kuroo knew he was still awake, he was shaking with the force of his cries and he kept sniffing.

Kenma walked in and looked up at Kuroo, “Is he alright? Is he staying over, because if we leave him in here we can sleep in the spare room?”

Kuroo thanked the lords that his parents weren’t home that weekend after everything that happened. Although, for him that night had been pretty good, anyway. “Yeah, thanks, babe... I’ll be in here for a bit then come join you, alright?”

Kenma nodded and Kuroo kissed the top of his head, then stepped into the room and closed the door. “Bo” he said, “Bo I know you’re awake”

Bokuto grumbled, “Go away”

“Make me” he joked, sitting on the bed and lying back so he was on top of him. Bokuto moved around before admitting defeat and sitting up.

“Akaashi said he didn’t like me back”

“I figured. I’m sorry”

“You told me he liked me!” Bokuto said, glaring at Kuroo.

“I thought he did! He told me that he did, I wasn’t to know that he didn’t anymore!” Kuroo held up his hands.

Bokuto shook his head, “I’m so stupid. Of course he wouldn’t like me back; I can’t believe I was too dumb to notice that”

“Hey. You’re not dumb, just a little... I don’t know, confused?”

“I’m dumb. Stupid, not deserving of somebody like him anyway. He’ll go to England, find a nice English boy to fuck and forget about me completely. It’s all I’m worth anyway”

Kuroo slapped him on the cheek, “Would you listen to yourself!?” Bokuto put his hand up to his face and Kuroo sighed, “I’m sorry. But would you snap out of it, it’s Akaashi, he’s not going to find anybody in England. He’ll come back, Japan is his home”

“Even if he does come back, I’m not going to see him again. Never. I’m not going to the airport”

“You _have_ to go to the airport. You’ll regret it if you don’t”

“I can’t, I can’t face him after this, and it’ll be so humiliating. It was probably better anyway, now I know that I was wasting my time and can get on with something more worthy”

“You are so frustrating” Kuroo grumbled, “Fine. I’m going anyway, so is Kenma and the teams, do whatever you want, but don’t complain to me when you regret not going to see him off”

Bokuto didn’t reply, and Kuroo huffed. He left the room and went to join Kenma, who was peacefully sleeping in a ball, as he usually does. Kuroo climbed in next to him and wrapped his arms around him. He fell asleep worrying about Bokuto.

\----------------------------------------------------------

Bokuto didn’t get any sleep that night, he stared at the closed door the entire night thinking about how much his chest hurt and how he was never going to see Akaashi again. At this moment in time, he hated Akaashi, never _wanted_ to see him again. He was the last people he thought would hurt him and the first person he thought would be there for him.

He went home before Kuroo or Kenma was awake, and the walk back was tiring. He had a headache, and the sunlight was killing his eyes. When he finally got home, he collapsed onto the couch and cried even more, concerning his Mum greatly. He told her, and she made him a cup of tea and put some cookies out on a plate for him.

He was wrapped up in a blanket when his phone started ringing. It was from Kuroo. He didn’t answer it, he didn’t want to talk to anybody, and just stared at the TV screen as it displayed a show he really wasn’t interested in.

Eventually, after endless calls from Kuroo, he turned up at his house. When his Mum answered, he went straight into the living room and stood in front of the screen. Bokuto didn’t even blink, “What?”

“Get up and get dressed”

“No”

“Yes”

“Go away, Kuroo”

Kuroo rolled his eyes and sat on the coffee table, stealing a cookie as he leant forward, “You’re in a sucky mood right now. Look, dude, I know you just had your heart broken and everything but you could at least-”

“I told you to go away” Bokuto said, “I don’t want to go anywhere with you, or do anything, so just piss off”

“Look I know that I’m the one who told you to talk to him, and the one that said he liked you, but I’m not the bad guy, alright? I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Didn’t do anything wrong?!” Bokuto scoffed, “Are you fucking kidding me?! You got my hopes up, convinced me to talk to him and then let me go along with it. I don’t care if you were drunk you should’ve never thrown that party in the first place!”

“How was I supposed to know that was going to happen?!” Kuroo shouted back, fists clenching.

Bokuto’s Mum was watched from the doorway, thankful that both of them didn’t notice her. She was starting to get a little worried. Seeing Kuroo and Bokuto arguing was scaring her a little.

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT! YOU SHOULD’VE STOPPED ME. AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE WHOLE SPIN THE BOTTLE THING. WHAT KIND OF FUCKING TRICK WAS THAT?!” Bokuto stood up and pressed his body against Kuroo’s, eyes piercing holes into him.

“IT’S A PARTY GAME. AT _EVERY_ PARTY BOKUTO. NOT MY FAULT YOU CHOKED AND COULDN’T GO THROUGH WITH IT!” Kuroo shouted, resisting the urge to hit him away.

“UGH. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD THAT WAS. IT’S EASY FOR YOU, YOU HAVE KENMA, I’LL BE ALONE BECAUSE THE ONLY PERSON I LOVE IS GONE! GONE KUROO!” Bokuto cracked, and grabbed Kuroo’s collar and pulled him closer, “YOU’VE FUCKED EVERYTHING UP FOR ME, SO DON’T YOU DARE SAY THAT IT’S EASY TO ASK SOMEBODY OUT, BECAUSE IT’S NOT, JUST BECAUSE YOU’VE ALREADY GOT IT!”

Kuroo caught sight of Bokuto’s Mum in the door and lowered his voice, but he was still furious, “It’s not my fault you were too stupid and scared to see that Akaashi liked you long before this even happened”

Bokuto’s grip on his collar loosened, but it was still there, “Take that back, you bastard”

Kuroo looked smug, “No”

Bokuto tugged at the fabric, “I swear to God, take it back”

“Make me” Kuroo smirked.

Bokuto screamed, throwing Kuroo around by the collar, crying at the same time. Kuroo managed to throw him away, but he came back.

Bokuto’s Mum was watching, and she panicked. She had to break them apart, do anything to get them away from each other. She ran into the room and in between them.

Both the boys stopped yelling and raising their fists, and fell silent and still.

“Stop it” she said calmly, “Please, both of you just stop it”

“I’m sorry” Kuroo said first, “I better go” he left, not giving Bokuto a second glance but an apology to his Mum.

Bokuto flopped back onto the couch in a ball of tears, “I’m so sorry” he said, hands shaking violently.

His Mum joined him, running her hands through his hair, “Koutarou, it’s okay. It’s okay”

“I’ve fucked up so bad. I’ve lost Akaashi and now I’ve lost Kuroo”

“You haven’t lost Kuroo. I know that guy, you’re best friends, and he’s not going to just walk away” she said.

“He had every right to be mad at me” Bokuto cried, “He wasn’t to know what was going to happen, and I blamed him for everything”

“Maybe so, but there’s no saying you can’t make up”

Bokuto forced himself to smile, “I’m such a mess”

“No you’re not” his Mum said reassuringly, “You’re just confused, you’ll get through it. Are you going to go to the airport tomorrow?” Bokuto shook his head, “But-”

“No. I can’t. Kuroo’ll be there too and everybody else and I just don’t want to handle that right now”

“Alright. I’m not happy about that, but alright” she said, getting up and placing a kiss on his forehead, “Get some sleep, you look like shit” she smiled, and then went to the kitchen.

Despite having his Mum tell him that he didn’t mess up, he still felt like he did. He had no right shouting at Kuroo like that, it wasn’t fair to take it out on him. His chest still ached, but when he closed his eyes he felt a little better being reminded that his best friend will come back, that Kuroo won’t leave him.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Sunday. 0 days remaining. The day Akaashi Keiji would walk out of his life.

His plane left at 1pm, and Bokuto didn’t wake up until 11am, meaning even if he wanted to go see him off he would never make it in time. He sighed into his pillow, forcing himself to keep it together and now start crying.

Kuroo on the other hand, was a bawling mess at the airport. Everybody was there, the whole Fukurodani team, apart from its captain. Akaashi wasn’t expecting him to turn up, but there was still a little part of him that wanted to see him one last time.

He shared a few hugs with the members, and then went to check in. His parents gave him space, but made sure to remind him of the time that he had to go through departures. Akaashi found himself checking the doors every now and then, wishing Bokuto would suddenly come through one, but he never did.

Then it was time to go. Akaashi’s Dad came over and told him to say the last of the goodbyes, and then they would have to go. The team were all sad, but turned away and left, despite being the weekend, they still had practice.

Kuroo stayed, watched Akaashi send through the last case then head to the door, he couldn’t. He couldn’t just let him go, “Akaashi hold on a sec!” He called.

Akaashi turned around, told his parents to wait for him just in security and walked over to Kuroo, “What’s wrong? Did I forget something?” he looked around.

“Yes, you forgot something” Kuroo answered, “Bokuto. You forgot Bokuto” he had to do something, he was still Bokuto’s friend after all.

Akaashi shook his head, “How did I know? Kuroo he probably hates me, I broke his heart”

“He’d never hate you. Not in a million years” Kuroo said.

“Please... It’s not that easy. I don’t have feelings for him”

“But you used to!” Kuroo insisted. Akaashi remembered. He remembered the way he used to look at Bokuto, wishing he could hold him, but feelings wrong and guilty so he let go.

“Yes. I used to... Even if I stayed, it wouldn’t be fair on him”

“Akaashi, you know more than me that you two are meant for each other. That guy is a mess, he’s not practicing, living off cookies and tea, honestly he’s a mess”

Akaashi rolled his eyes, “Not anymore... I told him and I’ll tell you. The key to that box in the back of my mind? I lost it”

Kuroo placed his hands on Akaashi’s shoulders, “Well, my dear friend... I have to go, important stuff and all but... It’s time you found that key” He left with that.

Akaashi stared after him, trying to take in his words. Was it that easy to just find it? Feel all those things again within the space of 10 minutes?  

“Keiji? Are you coming, we don’t want to miss our flight” His Mum poked her head around the door.

Was it that simple? Was it even possible to feel that strongly about somebody again? Maybe. Bokuto was his first love, was he really just going to give that up? He thought back to the times where he wished that he could just be with him, hug him and kiss him. This, this was his opportunity to have that, just maybe.  
Akaashi looked at her, “Yeah... Uhm, actually, I-uh, there’s something I need to do first”

\------------------------------------------------------------

Bokuto was practicing, he had gotten to the gym before everybody else, so the team were all shocked when they came back from the airport. He got given a few pats on the back, then without comment, got into practice.

Bokuto didn’t know if he wanted them to say anything about it, but it would have been nice to know that they were supportive.

Something was off. There wasn’t a setter, so they had to make do with training one of the recent first years, who didn’t really know what they were doing. Even so, Bokuto still couldn’t hit a ball, every one that came his way he missed.

It was a setter, but it wasn’t Akaashi. After his 17th miss, Bokuto stopped, he leant over, hands on his knees as he breathed deeply. His chest ached again and his eyes were watering.

If he was going to carry on like this then the whole team would fall. How could they make it to nationals if their own _Ace_ couldn’t play?

“Are you alright? Need a bit of a break, actually I think we all do” Konoha was at his side, handing him his bottle of water.

Bokuto took a swig and threw it to the side, “I’m fine. Let’s carry on” he said, straightening up.

He walked back onto the court and the eyes of his team were following him, all shattered and in need of a break but Bokuto wasn’t having that, so he made them carry on, “I’m not having a bunch of slackers on my team!” he shouted.

“Man” Komi said to Washio, “Things sure were less intense when Akaashi was here”

“Well he’s not!” Bokuto must have overheard, “So just get on with it”

He was still messing up his spikes, and his serves were all over the place. The ones that didn’t hit the net were called out. Practice overall, was dreadful.

Afterwards, Bokuto made sure everybody was packing up, making sure everything was spick and span.

“Are you okay?” Suzumeda asked, “You worked really hard today, you need a break”

“I could keep going” Bokuto replied.

Suzumeda stared at him, “Hey” she said, “We’re all feeling a little different because of Akaashi but-”

“I’m fine!” he snapped, “Uh- I’m sorry, I’m just not having a good day, alright?”

Suzumeda nodded, “Yeah, just, don’t overwork yourself, okay?”

Bokuto watched her go talk to Shirofuku and sighed. She was right; he was messing up because Akaashi wasn’t there. When he messed up, he always had his vice-captain to make sure that he was okay, to calm him down and encourage him. He felt bad again; he didn’t have any right to snap at her Suzumeda like that either, just like Kuroo.

“Make sure to stretch” Bokuto shouted to the team, who made a sound of agreement.

Bokuto was in the corner, facing away from the door.

“Man, practice would’ve gone smoother if Akaashi was here” Konoha said.

“Yeah, I feel so sorry for Bokuto though. He’s taken everything really badly since, you know” Komi replied.

The two players were silent, and then Komi looked up and grinned. He nudged Konoha’s arm, “Speak of the devil” he said.

Konoha and a couple other members of the team looked towards the door, where a very tired and out of breath Akaashi was standing, hand against the door. He looked like he had just run from the airport.

He stood up straight and looked at the team with a small smile, then his eyes landed on Bokuto in the corner and his smile disappeared, replaced with guilt and a little love. Akaashi nodded at Konoha, who then turned to the captain.

“Yo, Bokuto!” he called, “Some kid just walked up to the gym, what do you want to do with him?”

Bokuto huffed, “Just tell him to leave” he didn’t turn around.

Konoha rolled his eyes, and Akaashi smiled to himself, typical Bokuto, “No, Bokuto. You’re the captain, you sort it”

Bokuto grumbled, “God, why do you get-” he turned around, “me to do things...” his eyes were fixed on the door, fixed on Akaashi. “What’re you doing here? You’ve got a plane to catch”

“Not anymore” Akaashi replied, stepping into the gym and a little further to Bokuto, “I’ve... I’ve made some pretty big mistakes in my life, but none of them as big as the one I made on Friday night”

Bokuto looked away, “You said what you had to say. It’s fine, go to England. I’ll get over it”

He still didn’t get it? “No. I don’t want you to get over it”

“Then what?”

“I talked to Kuroo”

Bokuto looked back at him, “Really?”

“I’m really sorry”

“If you’re just going to tell me what you told me already then save it” Bokuto deadpanned, “I’ve got more important stuff to do”

Akaashi walked over to him, ignoring his audience, “You are ridiculously oblivious” he said.

“Excuse me?” Bokuto asked.

“That key?” Akaashi started. Bokuto tilted his head, nodding slightly in understanding, “Well... I... I found it”

Bokuto’s eyes widened, “I- I uh... What does that mean?”

“I means that whilst I was going through security I realised that I never properly shut away those feelings, and now I know that that was for the best, and maybe that’s never what I intended to do. I talked to my parents and told them that I needed to stay here and had a very good reason to justify it”

Bokuto scrunched his face, “Please sum it up in less than one sentence”

Akaashi smiled, “It means that I love you” he said.

Bokuto sniffed. Was he going to cry again? “I love you too” he said, subtly slipping his hands into Akaashi’s, “I love you too” he repeated.

“God” Akaashi blinked a couple times, also getting a little emotional, “Finally”

Bokuto smiled, then cupped Akaashi’s face, and felt Akaashi’s hands around his waist, “Am I allowed to kiss you?”

“Of course you are...” Akaashi replied, leaning in and closing the gap between them. It was nice, slow and romantic. Their mouths seemed perfect for each other, moving nicely together. Faint cheers in the background from their teammates, and both of them were crying, but they were happy tears, after all, it was a happy moment.

\------------------------------------------------------

EPILOGUE (4 weeks later)

“Kuroo, if I haven’t said it before, thank-you for giving me this” Bokuto said, slipping an orange notebook into Kuroo’s hand under the table, “but I no longer need it”

“No problem” Kuroo winked at his friend.

Akaashi noticed and peered under the table, “What’s this?” he asked, quickly snatching it from Kuroo and beginning the look through the pages.

“NO!” Both Kuroo and Bokuto shouted in unison. Akaashi registered the panic in their voices and stood up, holding the book above his head so they couldn’t reach it being sat down. The cafe was pretty empty, but they were still turning a few heads.

“What? What?” Akaashi asked, not having proper time to see what was written in the book.

“Akaashi. Put down the book” Kuroo instructed.

“Why?”

“It’s a book full of Kuroo’s pick-up lines” Kenma cut in, “He gave it to Bokuto so he could try using one on you”

Akaashi raised his eyebrows. Kuroo glared down at his boyfriend, and poked his side, “No fair, you’re gonna pay for that later”

Kenma’s eyes widened ever so slightly, “That’s fine by me” he said simply.

Bokuto was blushing, praying Akaashi didn’t open the book; he still had some of them marked.

“Well then let’s take a look” Akaashi said.

“Oh god” Bokuto said, “Please don’t”

“Why not?” Akaashi asked, already on a page and reading the first one, it appeared he stopped breathing by the time he got to the end of the line, eyes wide in shock, “Wow, you were going to use these on me?” he raised an eyebrow.

“I- uhm, well. Only the nice ones! I marked them with a little green smiley face!” Bokuto blushed.

Akaashi shook his head and looked at his boyfriend, “Even this one?” he asked, turning the book to Bokuto, “You marked it, so read it out”

“Here?” Akaashi nodded. Bokuto grumbled, “I see you’re good at receiving, wanna receive some tonight?” he said flatly.

Kuroo snorted and Kenma actually looked up from his game. Bokuto shrunk into his seat and Akaashi smiled, “See, I rarely receive, as I’m a setter”

Bokuto looked up at him, “Huh?” he asked.

“Come on” Akaashi reached out his hand, Bokuto held onto it, but was still confused.

“What are we doing?” he asked.

“Well. I may be a setter, but you receive right?”

Bokuto smiled, “Oh that’s _hot”_ He said with a slight lick of his lips.

Akaashi lead him out of the cafe and Kuroo was in shock, he looked down at Kenma, “Come on, how come those things never work on you?”

“Because I’m not Akaashi. Pick-up lines don’t work on me, they’re annoying. We’re going to be having sex tonight anyway and you have much better ways of initiating” Kenma replied, not even hesitating to think of reasons.

Kuroo looked impressed, and then kissed the top of his head, “That’s my Kenma” he said, an arm around his shoulder as he picked at his food. Things were great, and he was happy that he just hold Bokuto to suck it up and do it.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope that you enjoyed this, let me know what you think of it! Kudos and comments are always appreciated! :) xx <3


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